Sep二十七

问答:帮助一个可怕的孩子18luck外围投注

2017年8:37,Janelle Bradshaw撰文 根据圣经中的女性身份|18luck外围投注Fear & Anxiety|母性

安妮问:

I have a 4-year-old daughter who is very emotional and very sensitive (your关于卡利的故18luck外围投注事是如此令人鼓舞,因为我看到了如此多的相似之处),但这些都因她极度恐惧而大大加强了。18luck外围投注Many of the outbursts we deal with stem from situations in which she is so afraid of something that she is just unable to function along with dramatic outbursts.这可能是一个简单的事情,如听到隆隆的雷声,甚至看到一只虫子。I wondered if you could speak more specifically to a good approach to dealing with a very 18luck外围投注fearful child.

是的,我听到了。在过去的这一周里,我们对蚂蚁、虱子和小爱因斯坦木偶18luck外围投注感到恐惧。18luck外围投注对于我的感情女孩,18luck外围投注当她还是你女儿的时候,恐惧是个大问题,但谢天谢地,as God has helped her to grow in self-control,she can now talk calmly 18luck外围投注18luck外围投注about her fears and receive our help.

为了回答你的问题,我们有点girltalkhuddle and came up with a few starter-suggestions for helping children deal with 18luck外围投注fear.

1。战胜恐惧的第一堂课18luck外围投注–我们孩子的恐惧为他们提供了一个宝18luck外围投注贵的机会,教他们如何在困境中转向上帝。它不需要复杂或复杂。当他们害怕的时候,我们可以简单地和他们一起祈祷,或者教他们一句台词,such as Ps.56:3:“When I am afraid,I will trust in you."“When we comfort and reassure them of our protective presence,it will give them a taste of the comfort of God.Little songs,妈妈唱的歌,also go along way to soothing big 18luck外围投注fears.

2.Self-Control (again)–我知道我们一直在谈论自我控制,18luck外围投注but especially for the emotional child,this is one of the best ways to help them deal with 18luck外围投注fear.当卡利还是个孩子的时候,she would scream and go into hysterics over a bug.Now she can come and calmly tell us she is afraid of the bug,接受我们的保证,没有什么可害怕的。18luck外围投注尽管我们应该在孩子害怕的时候安慰他们,我们也希望温柔而坚定地帮助他们控制自己的情绪,and resist the temptation to submit to 18luck外围投注fear.

三。Laugh in the Face of 18luck外围投注Fear–帮助孩子克服恐惧的最好方法之一是教他们不要把恐惧看得太严重。18luck外围投注勇敢的人嘲笑恐惧!18luck外围投注所以,例如,(and you have to get your timing right) if your child freaks out 18luck外围投注about a noise in the basement,你可以微笑着告诉他们不要担心,只有老鼠一家在睡觉前刷牙!Cheesy,但这就是想法。Being nonchalant,cheerful,甚至连关于恐惧的滑稽也在很大程18luck18luck外围投注外围投注度上减轻了卡利的恐惧。

三。Laugh in the Face of 18luck外围投注Fear–帮助孩子克服恐惧的最好方法之一是教他们不要把恐惧看得太严重。18luck外围投注勇敢的人嘲笑恐惧!18luck外围投注所以,例如,(and you have to get your timing right) if your child freaks out 18luck外围投注about a noise in the basement,你可以微笑着告诉他们不要担心,只有老鼠一家在睡觉前刷牙!Cheesy,但这就是想法。Being nonchalant,cheerful,甚至连关于恐惧的滑稽也在很大程18luck18luck外围投注外围投注度上减轻了卡利的恐惧。

4。Brave Mamas Make for Brave Children–我们如何应对孩子的恐惧,教会他们应该如何应对。18luck外围投注If we take our cues from our children's emotions and go into panic mode or freak out right along with them,我们只会加强恐惧的习惯。18luck外围投注But if we model tranquil and cheerful emotions,适合这种情况,我们向他们展示了合理的做法,and even brave.The stronger our own trust in God,the better we model it for our children.

5.Turn off the Tube –Sheltering can have a bad reputation,but as parents we must be especially discerning 18luck外围投注about the tempt18luck外围投注ations to fear that can arise from exposure to television,media,即使是成年人或其他孩子之间的对话也很可怕。经常,we can underestimate the effect of media on a small child's psyche;even if they aren't scared of a particular character or scene in a show,the seriousness of the subject matter can have an outsized effect on a small child's emotions and generate fresh 18luck外围投注fears.

6.Avoid Lobster Tanks–我小的时候,I had nightmares 18luck外围投注about lobsters,所以我妈妈就尽量避开杂货店的海鲜区。What temptations to 18luck外围投注fear can you minimize for your child?也许你需要买一盏夜光灯,或者避开街上可怕的万圣节装饰品。Strategic decisions to avoid unnecessary temptations to 18luck外围投注fear can help make it easier to deal with the many unavoidable situations.有些恐惧最好不要面18luck外围投注对。例如,当我还是个孩子的时候,我也害怕在别人家里睡觉(你看,卡莉有什么恐惧的倾向!18luck外围投注)但我妈妈对过夜没什么兴趣,所以她从不坚持我会遇到这种恐惧。18luck外围投注

7。抓住他们的手–一旦我们的孩子学会了对可怕的情况进行自我控制,18luck外围投注我们可以,carefully and wisely,开始帮助他们面对并克服特定的恐惧。18luck外围投注It is helpful to talk ahead of 新利18luckIM电竞牛time 18luck外围投注about why this is important,explain clearly what small step we want them to take,and pray with them that God would help them to be brave.Then hold their hand until they can do it on their own.通过积极主动地帮助我们的孩子克服一种恐惧,18luck外围投注我们会教他们如何面对更多。

这些只是一些想法。从小处做起,让大局清晰可见。我们的目标不仅仅是培养沉稳的孩子,我们还想给他们训练轮子,让他们学会如何相信上帝。Bugs and thunder can be scary.但上帝的恩典,our children can learn how to face their 18luck外围投注fears.

~从档案馆,Series:Helping Children Handle Their Emotions

Sep17

清醒地生活

2017年8:15,Carolyn Mahaney撰文 根据圣经中的女性身份|新利18luckIM电竞牛Time Management

A 新利18luckIM电竞牛timer is a handy tool for mothers.当我的孩子们还小的时候,在智能手机应用程序出现的前几天,我经常用一个白色的塑料蛋计时器让他们知道某项活动何时开始或结束,或者持续多长时间。18luck外围投注新利18luckIM电竞牛We will leave for the pool in 10 minutes.在轮到你妹妹之前你还有5分钟的时间。读你的书30分钟。我也用计时器来激励。新利18luckIM电竞牛如果我的孩子花了太长时间完成一个项目,I'd set a 新利18luckIM电竞牛timer.If they required an incentive to do their chores,I'd set the 新利18luckIM电竞牛timer.When I needed them to do something in a hurry,我有时会用计时器新利18luckIM电竞牛来打点钟。

但是计时新利18luckIM电竞牛器不仅对孩子有用;他们也能造福成年人。In fact,did you know that a 新利18luckIM电竞牛timer has been set for our lives?We are on the clock.圣经告诉我们,我们在地球上的生命将持续多久。时间不长!大卫和约伯把我们的寿命比作呼吸(PS。144点4分;;Job 7:7)That's only a second or two at most.摩西把我们的日子比作从早到晚的草,至少给了我们多一点时间。新利18luckIM电竞牛PS。90点5分,6)Even still,半天时间不长!!

现在,if our lifespan is comparable,至多12小时,18luck外围投注这意味着我们生活的季节只持续几分钟。想一想。18luck外围投注Whether you are a teenager,a single adult,新婚新娘a mom with preschool children,一个空巢鸟,无论你的季节如何,you only have a few minutes left before this season ends.计时器在新利18luckIM电竞牛滴答作响。

前几天,当我读到一个女人生命中潜在的季节清单时,我几乎能听到它,我意识到我已经经历了几乎所有的季节,并且已经到达了

倒数第二个赛季在名单上。Truth is,计时器总新利18luckIM电竞牛是滴答作响;我们只是不总是注意到。所以大卫,工作,and Moses all try to rouse us—you don't have long now!The reality of our limited lifespan sobers us up quick.它应该激励我们抵制分心,为了避免不服从,and to live purposefully and passionately,在全力以赴的冲刺中,因为我们在基督耶稣里的天命的终点线。We Christian women should always hear the tick,tick,滴答声。

“How well should those live who are to live so little!我的世俗朝圣如此短暂吗?然后让我看着每一步,以便在不多的时间里,有更多的恩典,新利18luckIM电竞牛“said Charles Spurgeon.

在我们的小时光里,我们如何才能获得更多的恩典?新利18luckIM电竞牛One of the simplest job descriptions for life is found in Ecclesiastes 3:12-13:

“我知道他们活着的时候,没有什么比快乐和行善更好的了。又叫众人吃喝,享受一切的劳碌,这是神给人的恩赐。」“

We are tobe joyful and do good.多么简单,任务愉快!在人生的每一个短暂的季节,是否在家里或在市场上工作,whether cramming for tests or living out our retirement years,whether overwhelmed or aimless,我们作为基督徒妇女的责任是一样的。Be joyful.做好事。

Be joyful.

经常,我们跋涉(或冲刺)!)在我们生命中短暂的季节里,我不能等到这一切结束,这样我才能享受生活。”心态。一旦我最终把这些孩子从尿布里弄出来,或者把他们送去上大学……那么我会很高兴的。If only I can get my business off the ground or finally make enough money to retire…then I can be joyful.

但我们要快乐今天.Our 新利18luckIM电竞牛timer is ticking,记得?我们没有太多的时间在任何短暂的生活季节新利18luckIM电竞牛里服从这一命令。当我们从本赛季转入下赛季时,we should be able to look back and say,如果没有别的话:上帝的恩典,我是joyful.

只有上帝才有快乐:“在你面前是充满喜乐的。在你右手边是永远的快乐”“(Ps.16:11).所以,每个季节快乐的方式就是培养伊丽莎白·埃利奥特所说的对上帝存在的习惯性感觉。”She tells mothers (and all of us) to:"想想全能的上帝,who created the stars and keeps the seasons revolving in perfect rhythm,你的厨房里有吗?在浴室里,in the laundry room,in the grocery store."想想,你的心就会充满奇迹和joy.上帝与你同在。Right now.Joy is where God is,神借着基督与我们同在。我们怎么能不快乐呢??

All too easily,it seems.

你看,“对上帝存在的习惯性感觉”当我们感到压力或悲伤时,这并不是我们简单地想到的快乐。It begins with consistent 新利18luckIM电竞牛time in God's Word and prayer and flows out into a life of daily communion with him.Joy is a"fruit of the Spirit"-他给那些不断寻求他存在的人的礼物(gal.5点22分,PS。105:4)。You may think that you don't"have 新利18luckIM电竞牛time"right now for consistent Bible reading and prayer,但事实上,你扔掉了一件必须的东西(Lk.10:42)。There is no other way to be joyful,and,being joyful is the most important responsibility you have today.这有多令人愉快??

做好事。

Again,our assignment is simple.我们每个赛季都要做的很好,我们要做的是上帝给我们做的好事.“因为我们是他的手艺,在基督耶稣里为善行而造,上帝预先准备好的,我们应该走进去”“(Eph.2 10)。The Creator of galaxies and ocean depths has designed and fashioned each of us individually,叫我们名字,把我们从罪恶中拯救出来,然后亲自为我们每个人做好准备。

圣经告诉我们要为行善而兴奋!18luck外围投注We are to bedevotedto good works (1 Tim.5:10),,zealous为了好的工作(第2:14),有名誉为了好的工作(1分钟。5:10),,adorn ourselves做得好(第2:9-10)和互相搅动for good works (Heb.10:24).

如果我们的生活感到复杂和压力,it's often because we've forgotten this simple command.所以当你早上醒来的时候,ask yourself: What is the good God has prepared for me to do today?(Hint: It's usually right in front of you.整理床铺。Care for your children.Be gracious to your coworker.Joyfully receive unwelcome interruptions.) Then do it.全心全意去做。

清醒地生活

快乐,做好事,听起来很简单,太好了,所以可行的。我们的问题是,我们的灵性眼镜被日常生活中短暂的快乐和问题迷住了,我们忘了它过得太快了。In fact,many of us live as if our present season is going to last forever.

John Calvin's words bring us back with a jolt:

“人类的巨大愚蠢由此而来,who,bound fast to the present state of existence,在生活的事务中进行,就好像他们要活两千年一样……简而言之,男人是如此的迟钝以至于认为三十年,or even a smaller number,是,事实上,an eternity;nor are they impressed with the brevity of their life so long as this world keeps possession of their thoughts….我们的生命消失得有多快。想象我们将拥有长寿,就像一个深沉的睡眠,我们都麻木了。”“

Let's"wake up"我们现在的赛季只剩下很短的时间了。新利18luckIM电竞牛更重要的是,让我们居住as if we have just a few minutes remaining.With one eye on our heavenly 新利18luckIM电竞牛timer,let's be joyful and do good.Truly,as the wise teacher of Ecclesiastes says,没有比这更好的了.

Sep14

Q&A: Screen 新利18luckIM电竞牛Time and Your Small Child

2017 at 8:24 am   |   by Nicole Whitacre 根据母性

Q: How do I cut back on my children's screen 新利18luckIM电竞牛time?我的孩子四岁六岁,and I keep reading reports 18luck外围投注about the dangerous effects of too mu新利18luckIM电竞牛ch screen time,but I don't know how to get through a day without their TV shows,or how to get errands done or go out to eat without using a device.如果你有任何建议,我将不胜感激。

当你照顾小孩的时候,每天感觉好像有四十个小时。Your children's needs are so constant,你的能量太低了,屏幕时间是这样的新利18luckIM电竞牛there.One half-hour show turns into three.你不拔出一个设备就不能穿过杂货店。Then the guilt crashes in.

But how much screen 新利18luckIM电竞牛time is too much and what can we do 18luck外围投注about it?屏幕时间的最大危险之一是它是多么容易和容易接近,新利18luckIM电竞牛这意味着作为母亲,we need to be all the more intentional and deliberate in how we regulate our children's use of electronic devices.We can't just slide into screen 新利18luckIM电竞牛time.But neither can we make mothering decisions in reaction to the latest dire report or because Melissa Gates said so.If we're going to parent with peace and resolve,我们必须从上帝的话开始。In order to evaluate our child's screen 新利18luckIM电竞牛time biblically,我们需要问自己:作为父母,我们的圣经责任是什么?屏幕时间是如何贡献或减损上帝赋予的责任的?新利18luckIM电竞牛?

作为基督徒的父母,我们的责任很简单:我们要“bring [our children] up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord"“(Eph.6点4分)。

这意味着,first of all,我们必须our children 上帝的命令这是什么样子的?Deuteronomy 6 paints the picture:“And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart.You shall teach them diligently to your children,当你坐在家里的时候,你会谈论他们,and when you walk by the way,and when you lie down,and when you rise"(6:6-7)。In other words,our motherly teaching from God's Word—not Curious George or My Little Pony—should be the primary content filling our children's days.所以,让我们用孩子的屏幕时间,在申命记第六章旁边等一会儿。新利18luckIM电竞牛上帝的命令或PBS的孩子组成了我们孩子大部分的教育饮食吗?哪个角色充满了我们孩子的想象力,他们是谁在谈论八达通还是18luck外围投注 Creator of all the creatures of land and sea?我们的孩子能唱比背诵经文更多的电视介绍吗?对这些问题的回答将暴露那些隐藏的屏幕时间过长的区域。新利18luckIM电竞牛

第二,we must火车 our children 服从上帝的命令。Our primary mission in the early years of mothering is to train our children to listen to and follow our commands—immediately,完全地,他们会很高兴,上帝的恩典,learn how to follow the Lord with all their hearts and reap the blessings of obedience.从这里开始,and screen 新利18luckIM电竞牛time decisions get real clear real fast.多少屏幕时间太长?新利18luckIM电竞牛?If our child spends more 新利18luckIM电竞牛time on a device than in"Mom's School of Obedience"时间太长了,新利18luckIM电竞牛simple as that.When is it appropriate to give our child a device??如果我们每次孩子大惊小怪的时候都给他们一块药片,或者每当他们发疯的时候就新利18luckIM电竞牛把它们放在节目前,我们是,in fact,奖励不服从,破坏了整个行动。现在,请知道,当你和姻亲聊天时让你的孩子玩一个应用程序,或者当你得了流感时多看一到两个小时的电视,都是正确的。但如果屏幕时间超过了训练时间新利18luckIM电竞牛,或者成为操纵的工具,we must prayerfully reevaluate its place in our home.

Maybe you already know.是的,我让我的孩子有太多的屏幕时间,我觉得很糟糕。18luck外围投注新利18luckIM电竞牛作为父母,我们在很多方面都遇到了挫折,but we must never let our pride to get in the way of serving our children.我们若信靠基督得救,we can acknowledge our parenting failures,接受上帝的宽恕和改变的恩典,and parent—免罪-从今天起。放心吧:它possible to wean your child from excess screen 新利18luckIM电竞牛time without losing your mind.Here are a few practical ideas:

1。Start small.如果您试图同时删除所有设备,you will regret it big 新利18luckIM电竞牛time.The more heavily you have relied upon screen 新利18luckIM电竞牛time to fill the hours and smooth the rough spots in your day,断奶时间越长。So start small.选择一个时间和地点(家新利18luckIM电竞牛,开始)去sans device.Eat this elephant one bite at a 新利18luckIM电竞牛time.

2.用特殊时间替换屏幕时间。新利18luckIM电竞牛相反,of suddenly declaring to your unsuspecting children—"就是这样,no more screen 新利18luckIM电竞牛time!“告诉他们是时候做些新的、令人兴奋的新利18luckIM电竞牛事情了。Get out a new toy or check out some new books from the library.给他们一杯饮料,their favorite stuffed animal,把它们塞进一个特别的阅读角。Instead of a morning date with their favorite show,用蜡笔和彩色书来享新利18luckIM电竞牛受艺术时光。提前制定一个计划,让它变得有趣和特别。新利18luckIM电竞牛Give it a"名称“and be excited 18luck外围投注about it.甚至可以设置一个计时器,训练他们每新利18luckIM电竞牛天多坚持几分钟。And when you leave the house,带上一袋去参加活动或款待。你也可以用讲上帝话语的故事和歌曲来代替电视的背景噪音。

三。不要放弃。If things don't go well at first,这只会证实你最初的怀疑,一个变化是非常需要的!所以别灰心,但要坚持不懈。It takes 新利18luckIM电竞牛time to replace a bad habit with a good one.And it requires consistent training.也许你需要计划去杂货店的旅行,那里的唯一目的是训练他们在没有屏幕时间的情况下通过。新利18luckIM电竞牛也许吧,饭后,you have your children practice sitting quietly with a few books for ten extra minutes,so that eventually (the operative word,在这里)你可以一家人出去吃一顿和平的晚餐。不管你做什么,坚持下去,and you will,几天后,reap the rewards.

4。Give screen 新利18luckIM电竞牛time a set time.当你让你的孩子使用设备或看节目时,故意的。Choose a 新利18luckIM电竞牛time each day—like when you need to make dinner,or help another child with homework—and teach them to sit still with their device for a specific amount of 新利18luckIM电竞牛time.因此,screen 新利18luckIM电竞牛time becomes part of their obedience training and gives you that needed break as well.

5.Don't freak out in an emergency.If your child starts getting restless in the middle of a long ceremony,或者,如果你没有牛奶和泰诺,而你的孩子又势利又挑剔,尽一切办法,hand your child a device and thank God for the blessings of technology.你可以在早上重新开始教学和培训。

育儿很难,但上帝给我们的养育责任,却伴随着他的恩典而来。”每一个对善的决心和每一个信仰的工作by his power"“(2)1点11分,emphasis mine). 在灵魂的帮助下,we can resist the siren call of screen 新利18luckIM电竞牛time and teach and train our children to love and follow God's commands.

Sep

和平的重要规则

2017年8:11,Carolyn Mahaney撰文 根据圣经中的女性身份|Trusting God|Friendship

It's a commonly accepted truth: the older you get,你越不关心别人对你的看法。18luck外围投注This can be a good thing,带来一种新的摆脱怯懦和自我关注的自由。或者可能发生不健康的转变,导致染发不好,不幸的衣柜选择,或者更严重的对他人不友好或自私的行为。作为基督教妇女,we should not simply drift into a middle-aged indifference toward the opinions of others.We should be deliberate to shed our sinful preoccupation of what others think of us—and the earlier the better—so that we can be free to run our lives in an all out sprint for the glory of God.无论我们是二十五岁还是六十五岁,我们怎么能摆脱别人对我们的看法的压迫和过分的关心呢??

几年前,I came across this valuable nugget of advice from a nineteenth-century pastor named Charles Simeon:"我的规则是永远听不到,或者看到,或者知道,what if heard,or seen,or known,会要求我做动画。Hence it is that I dwell in peace in the midst of lions."我得去看看”animadversion":意思是“批评或指责。”西缅说,他规定永远不要听到(看到或知道)任何对他灵魂有害的事情。这就是他如何在lions"说他坏话的人。

Whether we are in the lion's den or green pastures,一个年轻的女人或中年人,we would do well to make it our rule never to imagine or attempt to find out what other people are thinking or saying 18luck外围投注about us.如果你需要说服,all you have to do is consider what happens when you don't follow this rule.和我一起思考一下担心别人的想法或言论的后果。18luck外围投注

首先,它是徒劳无功.As much as we would like to believe otherwise,we can't control another person's opinions or actions.怀疑别人不会改变那个人。18luck外围投注And if we try to find out if our suspicions are true—asking around or even asking the person directly—we may end up wondering if we are getting accurate information,which only leads to more suspicion.Or,if we happen to get our suspicions confirmed,then we feel worse.So you see,这是一个徒劳无益的努力,没有任何好结果。

它也是破坏性的运动.Trying to control what others think and say 18luck外围投注about us hurts,我们是受伤的人。Long before Charles Simeon,the wise teacher of Ecclesiastes said:"不要把人们说的话都记在心上,lest you hear your servant cursing you"(7:21)如果我们把耳朵放在钥匙孔上,we're probably going to hear things we wish we hadn't heard,语言对我们的灵魂有穿透力。We all probably remember unkind words spoken to us by others that still come back with fresh emotion—which is why we would do well not to go looking for more of this kind of thing.就在外面,可以肯定的是,but why try to find it,if it only makes us miserable?“If all men knew what each other said of the other there would not be four friends in the world,“wrote Blaise Pascal.In other words,有件事要说,无知是福。

Thirdly,怀疑地查出任何对我们不利的话都是a hypocritical exercise.令我们羞愧的是,我们必须承认,我们对其他人,甚至是我们最爱的人,都有过不友好的想法和言论。18luck外围投注Ecclesiastes calls us out in the very next verse:"Your heart knows that many 新利18luckIM电竞牛times you yourself have cursed others"(补给)。我们有多少次怨恨更新利18luckIM电竞牛美丽的女人,批评老板,felt superior to a fellow-mom,作为家庭成员,or laughed at someone's embarrassing moment?当我们想起自己的失败时,我们很谦卑。Our case for justice crumbles in light of our sinful,hypocritical tendencies.

Investigating or speculating on the opinions of others is傲慢的行为,,因为它开始于对我们真实身份的错误而膨胀的评估。This is why,正如查尔斯·斯普金所说,“It is always best not to know nor wish to know,关于你的话,18luck外围投注either by friends or foes.那些赞扬我们的人可能和那些虐待我们的人一样大错特错。”The impulse to elicit encouragement or stamp out criticism comes from an arrogant and inflated view of ourselves.谦卑的女人不寻求鼓励或害怕批评,因为她的自我评价已经与使徒保罗的一致。18luck外围投注that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners,我是其中最重要的一个”(1提姆。1:15).

Finally,to be consumed with what other people think 18luck外围投注about us isa self-focused exercise.斯普金又来了:“从你荣耀主耶稣的大目标上,轻视你的小生命,这是一种罪过,and,如果没有其他原因,这对你来说应该很重要。”就好像之前所有的理由都是不够的,this ought to motivate us to give up our selfish speculations once and for all.We were not saved from our sins so that we could spend our lives in"小代价”of what others think of our little selves.We were saved to bring glory to God:"他为所有人而死,使那些活着的人不再为自己活着,而是为那些为自己死而复活的人活着。”(2 Cor.5:15).

无论我们是一个上新学校的十几岁的女孩,还是一个搬到新退休社区的祖母,let's make it our rule—starting today—never to hear,或者看到,或者知道什么会破坏我们的和平,把我们的眼睛从主要目标上移开,to glorify God.Instead of wondering what others think 18luck外围投注about us,让我们问问自己:“How can I glorify God today?“Then,我们也会住在和平。